Monday, November 17, 2008

Down....

I have been driving around Klang Valley to have lunch with my friends to catch up just to make myself busy... but all the time that i spent didn't get me from boredom, moreover i was spending my reserve for my future and i was so unproductive... 

Now, again I was alone sitting @ Starbucks Klang Bukit Tinggi sipping Ice Cafe Latte, which i don't think it's a nice coffee for me anymore... I felt so down since i woke up this morning... life was as good as what all of you think i have... It's just a dream or creation that i was trying to create to satisfy my boredom and my unknown future... Do I had a good and enjoyable vacation? Sigh! I would say i did have on the 1st 2 weeks... but now I could not sleep well for the past few days, something has been bother me but i just don't know what had been bothering me... maybe it's the unawareness stress. Anyway, I'm going through an era which WAITING WAITING... UNKNOWN UNKNOWN... WAITING WAITING... What next? I just could not answer this question myself... Guess What? I have to face all my aunties and uncles who are coming for my uncle's wedding this weekend ... lots of questions will pop up, and i just could not avoid not to attend the wedding ... Sigh! :-( 

If you know me long enough, I'm always optimistic with what happen surrounding my life, I'm helping my friends to overcome fear and down. I usually that kind of person whom could get out from feeling down easily myself for the past... but this has been a very very very huge challenges for me... this might be my turning point of my life. I was totally lost and my mind just don't know how to handle anymore... Pressure from various way, from my parents, my friends, my x-colleagues, my relatives etc... Please tell me how to handle this ... I was being tortured in this situation for nearly 5 months since May 2008. 

BTW, I wanna to thank to my buddy whom talked to me via MSN this morning... He has woke me up from my so called perfect lifestyle that i painted with just spending my reserved from time to time... he told me that i would overspent if i don't cutdown which eventually bring me even further down at the end of the day... Thanks buddy! I'm glad to have you as my buddy... I think i should getaway for a few days this or next week to clear my mind and plan for my future... TZ will have to cutdown spending from today onward ...

Honestly speaking, I was having enjoyable vacation for the 1st 2 weeks but i don't think i was having that now... It has turned into a stressful moment as the days past... no longer an enjoyable vacation... From this, I finally experienced on why people who has no job even stressful then people who has a job but the job is sucks or busy... 

So, my dear friends sorry that if i had painted the scenario that i showing off my vacation and happy time that made all of you jealous... in fact i learnt one important things during this career of mine... uncertainty did happen and how you could patiently and calmly to handle it. That's what i'm working on it now... Along the way, i did meet couple of friends who really support me to go through this tough time... Thanks a lot my friends ... 

TZ gotta to wake up and move on to the reality world :'(

PS: 
Since Xmas is approaching ... All i wish for my xmas present is to have all the uncertainty iron out and i could proceed to resume my work in Uganda :-) 

Dear Santa,

I'm have been a good boy since Jan 1st 2008... can my wish i.e. To have all the uncertainty ironed out and i could proceed to resume my work in Uganda asap :-) 
Please give me this xmas present eh! 

Thank you Santa,

Cheers,
TZ

9 comments:

{SK} said...

just have yourself a few days to think about things, peacefully, don't force and pressure yourself, whatever you need to accept is really the fact you need to accept.. see things differently, and then you could see the sunshine.. all the best dude!! :)

William said...

Wish you peace...

Lifebook said...

Just do it!!!

TZ said...

{sk}: Thanks dude... I felt better after writing this entry ...

William: Thanks dude!

lifebook: You made me wanna to get more Nike's product ... maybe i just pay a visit to the Nike shop @ KLCC tomorrow evening :-p (just joking) ... Yay! I think i just need to "Just Do It" ... :-)

sbanboy said...

Hey ... we are all humans...we have our downs and ups ... it is ok to show that you r weak and down sometimes .... it only makes us real ... hang in there .. I know that you will get thru this ... u know what u must do.

Take k man

TZ said...

sbanboy: Thanks bro... :-)

Ah-Bong said...

*hugs*
wishing all ur uncertainties ironed out soon enough. ;)

TZ said...

ah-bong: thanks bro... :-)

K|E|E|N|Y|E|E said...

Hey man, I think most of the people have gone through the same situation. Being down and clueless about future. But given time, everything will be sorted out apparently. Be strong man.